Wow, I haven’t posted her in a while. Life has been moving on, as it tends to do, and I’ve been trying to move with it.

To be honest, I had basically abandoned this blog. But you know, I like it. I really like it, and I’ve decided to revive Reading While Fat.

I have mentioned that I have social anxiety disorder before, I’m sure. This is particularly relevant in this case, because sometimes I have to remove myself from Social Justice issues. This is kind of complicated, because of course it’s quite a privileged thing to be able to do. On the other hand, I literally can’t deal with politics and social justice because of a disability. So I don’t really know what to think of it. In any case, I had to step away for a couple of months.

This was both good and bad. It was good, because it allowed me to look at things with a fresh light, to gain a new perspective, and to heal mentally and emotionally.

It was bad, however, because I stopped reading Fat Acceptance blogs, and fell into a pit of self-hate. Every day, I am bombarded with information though television and the internet. And quite a lot of that information tells me that my body is bad. That I need to change my body to be worth anything.

I know, intellectually that this is incorrect. However, it’s hard to fight that mentality. And I had what one might term a relapse – I really wanted to lose weight. Like really badly.

But then I fell into feminism again.

Feminism had is problems, I totally get that. It largely concentrates on the issues of the white cis woman, and others can get pushed aside. But there are some awesome feminists out there, and Intersectional Feminism is the best.

There was a specific incident that lead me start trying to accept my body, actually. I was online, doing something – I don’t remember what – and I read about Macklemore’s song Same Love, and how it’s not as great as the hype. And so I read about Mary Lambert, who of course is in that song.

So I looked up her music, and holy shit.

She’s fucking amazing.

This song right here. It’s called I Know Girls (Body Love).

And I adore this song.

Really. Listen to it, if you haven’t before.  It’s amazing.

Anyway, I listened to that on repeat, and I was back.

So thank you, Mary Lambert, for being amazing and bringing me back from a self-hating depression spiral.